Behind the Name

My pursuit of Biblical counseling began to take shape after the death of my son, Ruben. Ruben was stillborn on May 19th, 2017. His death was heartbreaking and traumatic, and it taught me much about God and what it means to find hope in the valley (Psalm 23). One such moment of hope came unexpectedly on a hike through Muir Woods.

At the entrance of Muir Woods, there is a large Redwood stump on display. This particular redwood lived over 1,000 years, and some of its rings were marked, noting significant events in history.

Groundbreaking moments in time, reduced to a tiny mark on a thin ring on this mighty tree. Life suddenly felt so small, but in a good way.

I imagined Ruben’s life and death marked on that tree and how it would take up the same amount of space as the others. His secret little life that never made it outside my womb was marked and known by God.

Our lives are so short, Ruben’s especially so, but his life was accounted for. His life, just like all our lives, was planned by a God who sees all our days and numbers them according to his will.

The Lord holds our lives and our stories within a greater story, a greater legacy. Our lives and the suffering we experience on earth have purpose and meaning because they are a part of God’s story. In God’s story, Christ died so that we could be reborn. Christ suffered so that we wouldn’t have to suffer alone. Christ defeated death so that one day we would too.